We can’t move forward in life if we are not authentic. We can fake it pretty good at times, but life will eventually catch up with us and we’ll find ourselves in a mess.

Speaking to the heart of the matter keeps us authentic, so I wanted to share some of the ways I practice speaking to the heart of the matter with others:

• I say what I mean and mean what I say.

• I own a worry, concern or anxiety as “my concern.” I don’t claim someone else “made’ me that way.

• I’m okay with, “Let me think about that” as a response. And I always circle back with my thoughts.

• I appreciate and respect what is working, effective, and progressive towards common goals.

• I express my concern for the pitfalls, bottlenecks, and lost in the weeds meandering I see. I’m ok saying: “Remind me of the goal again? How do you see this as moving us to the goal?”

• I never pretend I agree or believe an idea to be good if I don’t. For example: “I can appreciate your thoughts. However, I’m not on the same page with you. May I share my thoughts with you?”

The list is endless, but you get the idea: We never help anyone, any circumstance, or any goal if we don’t speak to the heart of the matter.

We need clarity, discipline, and self leadership to speak to the heart of the matter.

Do you find it challenging to speak to the heart of the matter? The “U” is a simple tool I teach my clients to guide their authentic conversations. If you have something pressing and would like to practice speaking to the heart of the matter before then, contact me and we can review your situation.