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Leadership Effectiveness

Composed vs. Emotional

I remember hearing the yelling from down the hall.

“What the f**k?” I thought to myself. I didn’t go down the hall as I figured it was none of my business. But later I learned the ‘boss’ was yelling at his team for whatever errors he thought they made.

I didn’t make the connection until years later: that was why no one respected him. It was clear his team did not think of him as a leaderrather the unpredictable, petulant child who was sometimes pleased and other times not.

Today, while there are still a few yellers out there, most bosses have cleaned up their act of yelling but are still emotional train wrecks in various ways.

Here’s the thing: Just because you are a boss doesn’t mean you are a leader. We call everyone a leader these days, but the label doesn’t make you one.

Composure is one element of leadership. Composure is consistent, reliable and effective.

Your team will trust you as their leader when you are composed. They are more likely to respect you, and they are more likely to exhibit composure themselves if they witness that trait in you.

Composure doesn’t mean you don’t care or that you are not emotional. It means that you acknowledge the emotion in any situation. For example, which do you think is more effective? “There will be a reduction in staff if we don’t start hitting our numbers.” or ”At the current pace, if we don’t increase our quarterly sales numbers, no one will be getting bonuses. Let’s get real here and figure out how to change this as I know how upset everyone will be if we miss our goal.”  

Responding to a situation requires composure.

When composed (physically and mentally), a leader exhibits certainty. Certainty, not self-confidence, is what draws people to leaders. A leader’s calmness is reassuring and contagious; it gives others confidence, especially when they need it most.

We are all signal senders. When there is a problem, what signals do you want to send?

Leaders send their team a signal that together we can get through any situationif we remain calm, rational, and know for certain that our abilities and experience will allow us to make the best of the current circumstance.  

It’s easy to let our emotions get the best of us–we can quickly get frustrated, outraged and even lose our temper. Being emotional doesn’t serve us well as leaders. If not carefully managed, we can appear uncertain and afraid, which makes us unpredictable to those we interact with. When you feel emotions boiling, take a timeout. Give yourself permission to compose yourself; to breathe; to regain control of your thoughts so you can effectively respond vs. react to the situation at hand.

As leaders, we are needed most when there is a problem. Are you trying to navigate a challenging situation? Let me help you send the right signal to your team.