You are not responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you.

Whatever people do, feel, think or say—don’t take it personally.

You have the power of choice—we all do.

• You have the right to believe or not believe others.
• You also have the right not to take what others say personally.

When others say something we don’t like, our human reaction is to defend ourselves—to correct others, to prove ourselves right and others wrong. An enormous amount of freedom develops when you become immune to negative energy.

We can’t control what others do or fail to do.

The only action a leader controls (in any circumstance) is if they choose to REACT or RESPOND to the situation at hand. Our choice affects the outcome, one way or another.

• We have a tendency to react when we take things personally, which fuels further frustration and energy loss.
• Responding to a situation requires composure. When we unhook from having a personal attachment to the situation, we have an opportunity to respond as the leader we aspire to be.

Leaders understand that they will, by virtue of their actions, become targets for opposition.

• They expect to encounter obstacles and negative energy.
• Not everyone is going to agree with them.
• Others are going to see the world differently, have different opinions, and do things in different ways—and that’s a good thing!

Different viewpoints make for better collaboration if approached with an open mind.

Through practice, leaders learn how to not take things personally.

This isn’t always easy to remember when we are in the heat of the battle. I know because I too have fallen victim to taking things personally. Like bait, it hooks me into resistance. The student in me has learned that resistance tends to slow progress down.

Resistance is an inability to accept what is.

When something unpleasant unexpectedly occurs, the first thing that usually happens is denial. This creates resistance and an inability to deal with the reality of the moment.

• Someone resigns
• A prospect selects another vendor
• The budget is reduced
• A request is denied

You don’t have to punish yourself by getting angry about it. This just makes an already difficult situation worse.

Don’t believe me. Experience this for yourself.

How does your body feel when you take something personally as opposed to when you don’t?

Can you sense the difference in heart rate and muscle tension?

It’s fascinating to see what resistance and acceptance does to our bodies. This practice always drives it home for me.

When you make a new habit to not take anything personally, you avoid many struggles that have a propensity to trap you, causing needless suffering.

Want help creating this habit? Schedule an introductory call. You will be glad you did.